Rules for a relationship

Here are some good guidelines for a relationship, one, Don't assume that love at first sight works. Two, be respectful, and three, make the person feel special. These guidelines will make you, and your partner feel good.

One, don't assume that love at first sight works. I know that we all think that Cinderella, or Twilight are what we all want. This is wrong, thanks to 2knowmyself.com I got this explanation:

we sometimes fall in love with someone at first sight: simply because we found a person who met many of our unconscious criteria. For example if a guy had dark skin and deeply loved his mother, then it’s likely that his unconscious criteria include that the girl should have white skin and that it would be great if she had some feature that reminded him of his mother. Of course it’s not that simple; the criteria can be very complex and may be formed of very many items, but I am just giving you this small example for clarification purposes.

Now what if this guy meets that girl we just described? What if he found her attractive and that in addition to all of the above characteristics, she has a great personality and is cheerful too? What’ll most probably happen is that he will develop an instant crush on her, or as we say, love her at first sight. Interesting huh? So don't trust love at first sight like Cinderella, get to know the other person before getting too involved, because there is a whole story after Happily ever after.

Second, be respectful, nothing hurts more than loving someone and having them not act like they love you back, this includes abuse. Thanks to abanet.org I got this information about teen abuse/dating violence: Teen dating violence runs across race, gender, and socioeconomic lines. Both males and females are victims, but boys and girls are abusive in different ways:

• Girls are more likely to yell, threaten to hurt themselves, pinch, slap, scratch, or kick;

• Boys injure girls more severely and frequently;

• Some teen victims experience violence occasionally;

• Others are abused more often…sometimes daily.

Nearly 25% of 14-17 year-olds surveyed know at least one student who was a victim of dating violence, while 11% know multiple victims of dating violence. 33% of teens have actually witnessed such an event.

20% of surveyed male students report witnessing someone they go to high school with physically hit a person they were dating.

39% of female high school students report that students talk in school about whether someone is attempting to control the person they are dating.

57% of teens know someone who has been physically, sexually, or verbally abusive in a dating relationship.

One in three teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped or physically hurt by their dating partner.

When female high school students were asked whom they would talk to if someone they date is attempting to control them, insults them, or physically harms them, 86% percent said they would confide in a friend, while only 7% said they would talk to police. Tiffany J. Zwicker, Education Policy Brief, “The Imperative of Developing Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Intervention. Programs in Secondary Schools.” 12 Southern California Review of Law and Women’s Studies, 131, (2002). 83% of 10th graders surveyed at the 4th Annual Teen Dating Abuse Summit reported that they would sooner turn to a friend for help with dating abuse than to a teacher, counselor, parent or other caring adult.

Only 33% of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about the abuse.

Respect is so important, because if you don't have it, you can hurt yourself, and the person you are dating, and please, if you know anyone who is in an abusive relationship call the hotline or go to loveisrespect.com

And third make that person feel special. This is also important put their needs before your own, and think about them, not just yourself. Here are five more ways to make them feel special thanks to enzinearticles.com

1. Surprise them. Give them a surprise visit at home, surprise them by cooking his favorite meal, give them an unexpected call in the middle of the night or give them a kiss when they least expects it --- it's all about spontaneity.
2. show them some love.Public display of affection? Anyone? Well, why don't you? It's completely harmless, not to mention exciting. If they're not comfortable with it, try to hold their hand or give him a tight hug every now and then when you're alone together.
3. Curb that jealousy.It's a primal instinct to get a little jealous and annoyed when our love mentions about an ex, or gets all chummy and laugh with someone from the opposite sex --- but that's normal. But try to keep it down --- you see, jealousy is a pretty bad thing and it can destroy a relationship. Be confident in yours and it will surely make your companion happy.
4. Be on the go.Be up for anything! Don't be scared to try out new things with them and they'll feel like the luckiest person on earth for having a boyfriend/girlfriend who has passion for adventure.
5. Know how to crack a joke. It is true one way to woman's heart is by knowing how to make her love. But don't you know it's the same with the guys? Having a great sense of humor is a very awesome trait and people want you to know how to deliver and crack a joke every once in a while. And of course, a happy girlfriend makes a happy boyfriend happier! (Or the other way around!

So there you have it, if you get to know the person, respect them, and make them feel special, you will have one special relationship.